HCFSM Rating: 4.6/5
Art of Approaching is a comprehensive and courageous work that narrates Joseph Matthews’ (ThunderCat) personal story. He takes you from the very beginning where he was fat, ugly, low self-esteem and hopeless with the ladies (by his own genial admission) to his current position as a master pickup guru. It has been a rewarding journey for him and he strikes you as one who has truly come to terms with who he is and makes no apologies for it. You cannot help but envy and admire him!
Pros
- Extremely comprehensive. Covers everything from ‘inner game’ (the mindset and beliefs required for success with women) to techniques.
- Detailed explanation on the structure of an approach. Understanding this structure is key to you attaining consistent and long term success.
- Includes lifestyle tips that make it easy to meet women as part of your day to day activities rather than going out 5 nights a week or setting aside time to ’sarge’ (go out and pick up women)
- Detailed list of openers to use. While one school of thought says you shouldn’t need any rehearsed or memorized openers, the reality is that if you do have a few default memorized openers you are less likely to hesitate and forgo the approach during that crucial window of opportunity when you see that blonde bombshell. There are a number of really funny openers that are guaranteed to get rid off any nervousness or ‘approach anxiety but I think the real prize winner is the Keg Opener. ThunderCat, I take my hat off to you on this one! I personally would never have the guts to pull it off but I’m sure there are some brave souls out there among you!
- Joe doesn’t try to paint himself as perfect and readily admits he still has some inner game issues to work through
- Sets realistic expectations for success by recounting his own frustrations and gradual breakthroughs. My experience interacting with so called gurus has been that they oversell their skill level and the results you can expect to get. Joe does not do this.
- Openers, email sequences for online dating. Joe gives a few examples of openers and emails that are effective in an online dating context and also explains why they work so you can craft your own. You certainly don’t want to email her the same thing 10 other guys have emailed!
- Makes it ok for you and for everyone to learn how to be successful with women. “Success with women is a skill”, he says. And just like you learn other skills such as learning how to drive, learning how to golf etc it is ludicrous to think that you should just know this stuff. There is nothing wrong with you, you just need to learn a new skill!
Cons
- Too long. Weighing in at 340 pages the book is a tad too long for my liking. Could be edited without losing its punch.
- Plenty of typos.
- His theory on why men have approach anxiety is not particularly convincing. I personally think Mystery/David D’s theories on this subject are better.
All in all a great Ebook and one that I highly recommend. If you are not a naturally good looking guy this book will resonate with you. Kudos Joe and thanks for making it ok for the rest of us to learn how to be successful with women!
