What are the steps a guy can follow to go from not really approaching ANY women to approaching at least 1 woman per day with no fear of rejection…?
He needs to first set realistic goals.If a guy has never done one single approach and his measure of success on any one approach is either getting a phone number or getting laid, than he is setting himself up for long term failure. When you are first starting out and you are just trying to get over your fear of rejection don’t approach with any outcome in mind. Do not approach hoping for a phone number.
If I had to start all over from scratch and I could give myself a little advice I would say:
First just start with baby steps. I would tell myself to go out and just open girls with information gathering questions and then eject. i.e. “Excuse me, do you know which way Sunset Blvd is?” “Hi, can you tell me what time it is?” etc…
I would do this until my mind calmed down in these situations before I tried to graduate up to the more advanced and lengthy conversations.Once I got comfortable with that, I would give myself fun “mini missions.” I would go in with the mindset of accomplishing one mission:
• “I’m going to go open her and transition with a cold read and then eject.”
• “I’m going to go open a girl and try to ask her one qualifying question before I eject.”
• “I’m going to go open a girl and tease her about something and get her laughing then eject.”
• “I’m going to go open a girl and high five her for something random and then eject.”
I would keep doing these types of things until I could do them with little or no anxiety. Once that happened I would just make the mini missions a little harder each time.
Once I felt like I could do them with ease I would create fun new rules. Maybe I would give myself a “There’s no way out rule” where I wasn’t allowed to eject until she either walked off or until I had her phone number.
That would be a great place to start. In the army they have a learning strategy called, “crawl, walk, jog, run.” This is the proper way to attack any new endeavor, and pickup is no different. Guys get locked up because they are trying to run when they can’t even crawl.
Their mind and more specifically their self concept, can’t identify with running because it has zero reference points to link too. As a result it locks up and fires off the emotion of fear and anxiety. When you give it the mission of “crawl” the self concept can conceptualize that mission.
They need to accept that rejection is part of the process and we all go through it, even once you reach mastery. Accept it and move on. Don’t dwell on it and don’t try to understand why. It is what it is, don’t waste another second on it. It’s like asking, “Why do I have to lift weights and eat right to have a good body?”
By Braddock
