When it comes to the dating game, there is no doubt that it certainly is a jungle out there, and more often than not, most men on the prowl either have no idea what they’re doing and fumble they’re way around it like a headless chicken, or they just don’t venture out with the right attitude, and inevitably crash and burn.

So, what exactly makes a guy dateable to women, and what makes him a, well, a headless chicken? Most men immediately think in extremities when faced with this particular question. They either need to have the face of Brad Pitt with the body of an underwear ad model, or they could look like a complete hobo and still have the ability to draw in women.

So which is it?
The answer is: the in-between.

However, the in-between also comes in with a bigger picture.
See, here’s what you need to know about women:

1. It’s true that looks do matter. You don’t need to look like a Greek god to land a woman; you just need to make sure you look presentable and stylish. Men look at the main points in a woman—her breasts, her backside and her face. But for women, it’s far more complex. They look at your shoes whether it’s polished or not, your hair, and even your nails to see if it’s clipped or long and dirty. Suffice it to say, looking your best is essential to attraction.

But while looks do matter, first impressions are the real eye-catcher. You see buff, celebrity looking men dating total bomb-shells, and you think she’s only with him for his looks. And then in contrast, you also see equally drop-dead women arm-in-arm with guys that could pass up as the Hunchback of Notre Dame’s double. So, what’s the reason behind this? Easy—charm.

Men see women, and they feel the attraction right off. Not so with the fairer sex. While physical attraction plays a role in catching a woman. Women have this internal need to be self-validated, complex as they are so she will naturally picture how the two of you will look in her head, how you guys will match, and most of all she will care about what people will think. So get your act together.

2.  Technique is Key. Ever wondered why they say “nice guys finish last”? The truth is, they don’t actually finish last, it’s that most just drive women away, and they don’t even realize it. And what drives them away, you ask? It’s the tendency to fall to their feet. Women liked to be wooed. To feel the thrill of romance, and there is absolutely nothing romantic about catering to her every whim like a lost puppy.

You don’t have to be a douche bag to get her attention either, despite that whole bad boy saying. You can be cocky and funny at the same time, be mysterious and sensible. There are all kinds of different attraction techniques out there; all you’ve got to do is find out what works for you.

3.  Confidence goes hand-in-hand with substance. There is nothing sadder than a confident man make a total fool of himself. Women like smart men, so it pays to know what you’re talking about, especially on a date. So get in the know. Now.